NATASHA DEL TORO: So many people in Kristal Bush's family were or are in prison.

KRISTAL: Systems that are in place that disrupt the Black family.

DEL TORO: Now she fights to break the cycle for herself and for others.

KRISTAL: The prisons are so far-- I mean, hours.

I started the van service to keep families connected.

It's sort of like therapy for me.

DEL TORO: "A Woman on the Outside" on America ReFramed.

♪ ♪ (birds twittering) WOMAN: How you doing?

KRISTAL: Hey, y'all.

WOMAN 2: Hi, everybody.

WOMAN 1: Hi, good morning.

WOMAN 3: Good morning.

WOMAN 4: Good morning.

KRISTAL: You got the baby birth certificate and Social Security card?

WOMAN 1: Mm-hmm.

KRISTAL: All right.

Y'all got your IDs?

No wire in your bra?

♪ ♪ Hey, I sent your information to the driver.

She should be picking you up.

We running a little behind schedule.

WOMAN: You know, I'm not healthy enough to be taking this trip all the time, and it's just like, and I'm trying to see if they can, like, move him a little closer.

CRYSTAL WYATT: Welcome to today's episode of The Real Resilience of The Real Resilience Prison Wife Life podcast.

Now, I am sitting here with a special guest.

Uh, she's not necessarily a prison wife, but, man, does she know the business of prison wife life.

(chuckles) Yes.

WYATT: Her name is Kristal.

Why don't you tell the people a little bit about yourself?

KRISTAL: I'm a social worker here in Philly, and I am the owner o Bridging the Gap Transportation, which is a prison van service.

Lord, have mercy.

WOMAN: Don't worry.

(laughter) WYATT: What made you start a van service?

KRISTAL: Most of the men in my family were incarcerated, so my dad was incarcerated since I was three years old.

Ms. Brenda, did my mom get you?

I think you her last pickup.

Hey, miss.

Your overgarment is cute.

My brother was sentenced to ten to 20.

Jabo, my oldest brother, just in and out of prison.

Cousin's serving life.

The prisons are so far-- I mean, hours away from Philly.

I started the van service to keep families connected.

It's sort of like therapy for me.

Ms. Denise is going to another prison, so I know you like to sit next to the window.

When she get out, you could just slide right on so you can be more comfortable, okay?

Mom, you filling up your gas?

CRYSTAL: I'll get it up in Harrisburg.

KRISTAL: We're not stopping.

All right, everybody cool?

Everybody going to Huntingdon and Smithfield, no Houtzdale?

Oh, Smithfield gonna be poppin' today.

Yes, that's why we got to hurry up and get up in there.

(indistinct conversations) - Oh, wow, she got tall!

- Yup!

KRISTAL: There's so many people who ride the van service.

Instead of paying their own bills, they're sending money to their loved ones.

Some people get another job just to support that inmate.

I don't want to hinder you from being able to go see your loved one 'cause I understand that you may borrow $20 from this person, $20 from this person and ten dollars from this person just to get on this van.

WOMAN: Well, this picture right here is me, my son and my man.

Sunday, he got seven to 15 years.

He was in college, in the Army.

He just did something dumb and got himself tore right up.

These are kind of like my favorite 'cause he goofy.

He play too much.

And I'm excited to go see my man, yup.

It's been too long.

60 days is a long time.

Are you laughing at me, Kristal?

KRISTAL: Yes.

(chuckling): It been too long.

60 days!

♪ ♪ WOMAN: We're on our way to go see our husbands!

Everybody say hi to my Muslim sisters.

They looking all beautiful in their shaylas.

(overlapping chatter) Now drop the mic!

Put that jawn back on.

Put that jawn back on.

(overlapping chatter) ♪ Hey!

I get to see my hubby!

♪ ♪ Eh, eh, what, what, uh.

♪ (laughing) I'm excited.

Around the corner.

Mama!

KRISTAL: Make sure you don't have no wire or nothing in your bras.

Um, they may be searching the van, so be prepared to have y'all's stuff checked.

If y'all have anything, we can roll down a window, open a door and let whatever you got out.

Other than that, enjoy your visit.

(overlapping chatter) All right, enjoy your visit.

All right, see y'all.

It was a party over here.

(chuckles) Shoot.

You should've seen 'em.

They go, "We gonna run."

I said, "Yeah, run."

They always running.

Tanesha, Tanesha's the main one talking about, "Oh, my God, I got to sit in the front.

My leg.

You know, I just had surgery."

I can't tell, not the way you're running in that prison.

I know, that's... that's... (laughs) They is crazy.

But I love 'em, though.

(indistinct announcement over P.A.)

(typing) (cellphone ringing) KRISTAL: Hello?

AUTOMATED VOICE (on phone): You have a call from Pennsylvania State Correctional Institution.

DAD (on phone): I'll call you tomorrow morning at 7:45.

Okay.

DAD: All right, baby?

Yeah, that's cool.

DAD: Okay, y'all be safe driving home, all right?

All right.

DAD: All right, I love you.

Bye-bye.

All right, love you, too.

He calls 7:45 every morning.

And those are the conversations that I like.

But I don't even remember him out of jail, though.

That's the thing, because I was too young.

So I don't remember none of that.

(indistinct chatter) WOMAN: Oh, yeah, that's my husband with the big beard.

(overlapping chatter) Yeah, the cool one.

How was your visits?

WOMAN: It was good.

♪ ♪ Okay, thank y'all.

I really enjoyed myself, everybody.

- You, too.

- Likewise.

Yes, I did.

WOMAN: She said, "Yes, I did."

♪ ♪ All right, see you, Kristal, next week.

(children's chatter) KRISTAL: My dad said that he might be coming home.

He called before and sai he may come home and never came.

This man been locked up my whole life.

I'm supposed to be happy, so I smile, but deep down I'm a little worried.

I want my family home, but I don't think we know what it's like to be a family on the outside.

(keys jangling) ♪ ♪ ("All I Want for Christmas Is You" cover playing) ♪ I don't want a lot for Christmas ♪ ♪ There is just one thing I need... ♪ (laughs) How you do it?

This.

No, this.

Then that.

Then you're coming back up.

Wait, do it, let me see.

It's in reverse.

Where you learn that from?

♪ I won't make a list... ♪ I didn't even know you knew how to dance.

♪ Oh, all the lights are shining... ♪ (laughs) KRISTAL: No, teach me... My dad, I didn't talk to him in a while yet, but...

I hope soon he calls me, so I can talk to him.

He's getting out next year.

Which is coming up, but... he'll be out soon and we'll have a bond together... ...and have a relationship... ...with each other.

KRISTAL: Nyvae was in the second grade when he came to live with me.

Such a chill, laid-back kid.

My brother Jarvae, which is Nyvae's dad, is serving ten to 20, and his mom is just in and out of prison, and we oftentimes just lose contact with her.

(chuckles) Hey!

Baby, baby!

Nyvae is 11 now.

I'm in the process of adopting him to make sure that he stays in our family.

Say cheese.

NYVAE: Cheese.

KRISTAL: He takes in a lot.

One day I'm the mom, one day I'm the aunt, one day I'm the friend.

Despite our uncertainty, he's a good kid.

You brush your teeth?

Yeah, I brushed my teeth.

- No, you didn't.

- Yes, I did.

(din of the street) (indistinct chatter) Let me see, let me see.

"I'm glad you're coming home to watch my teenage life, my teenage years."

That's it.

That's it.

(laughs) You got to get him.

KRISTAL: What'd he write?

No, look just look, he saying, "That don't make sense."

I said, "It do so.

You told him how you feel."

See, you keep on erasing.

You know what?

Get your nephew.

"I love you, Daddy."

(laughing): He talking about, "That's it.

No more."

(laughs) Let me see.

"I know we can't..." "I see that you're coming home in two more weeks.

"When I... when you come home we are going "to spend a lot of time together.

"I know we can't get all the time we lost.

But we are going to spend the rest of our lives together."

(distant siren blaring) ♪ ♪ Good morning.

Hey, miss.

- Hey.

How you doing?

- I'm good.

♪ ♪ KRISTAL: My first memory visiting a prison was actually going to go visit my dad.

I believe I was about... ...five, six.

I remember waking up early, my mom putting in ballies and barrettes in my head that was so tight... ...my grandfather coming to get us.

Because it was so far, my mom couldn't really drive.

When I got inside, running up to my dad and just smiling.

Him just asking, "What's your favorite color?"

And really just trying to get to know me.

But it's blurry.

I don't really remember a lot.

From that point, I didn't get a chance to see him until I was 19 and was able to drive myself.

(birds twittering, dog barking) CRYSTAL: Me and Kristal, we've been through thick and thin together.

When she was in high school, getting ready to graduate, she had to do a speech.

It was these three panels there, and she just said, "My mom is a survivor of depression."

You know?

I can get stressed and I can just zone out, and it's like, Kristal brings me back.

This is all beyond my wildest dream.

I never thought I'd even have a child or nobody in jail.

I hope when my son comes home, he stay out here, but I don't think I can keep doing this much longer.

Lord, you know I got to send her everything, to see if she like it, her approval.

(laughs) Jarvae told me he getting excited now.

(laughs) I'm feeling a little... a little bit, you know, like, I'm getting happy.

But I got another situation with my oldest son, and that's just like...

I'm trying to get it together upstairs in the room where he going to be sleeping.

Whew.

So I was just going to, you know, like... just straighten up on his bed.

But he said, "No, Mom, just leave my stuff in the bag."

That's what I'm gonna do.

You know.

Oh, he talking about he big.

I hope he can fit this stuff.

I wouldn't be surprised if they let him out 5:00 in the morning.

He say, "Ma, come get me, I'm standing outside."

So I-I don't even know.

I just got to be by my phone.

I'll tell his kids, "Come on.

Get up."

(laughs) "We're going to get your dad."

He coming home 'cause he miss his mom, and to protect his mom.

He think he's the only one who can protect me.

I told him his brother was locked back up.

He said, "I know he mad."

I said, "I don't know."

"I ain't talked to him.

I ain't talked to Jabo."

They said...

I guess in two weeks he can have a visit.

One coming home and one went to jail.

I would have loved to have both of my kids home.

So, Lashay, how you feel about your dad coming home?

- Excited?

LASHAY: Yeah.

Like your grandmother?

'Cause I know I'm excited.

It's been a long time coming.

KRISTAL: My brother, in his eyes, he like, "My son is cool because my sister is taking care of him."

My focus is now Nyvae, like, how Nyvae feel.

I feel like he did all this time and he say that he changed, but really, "Have you really changed?"

There he go right there.

CRYSTAL: Oh, my God, they finally let you go.

JARVAE: Love you.

Love you.

I miss you, man.

- What's up, partner?

- Man, you got fat.

I told you I got fat, man.

I told you.

I got fat, man.

What's up?

- Huh?

- Nothing.

I love both of y'all, man.

I love you, all right?

CRYSTAL: Your sister want you to come by her job.

JARVAE: All right.

We on Delaware Avenue?

CRYSTAL: Near the Sugar House.

- Yo, that's crazy.

I didn't even know we was on Delaware Avenue all that time.

Yo!

Yo, the city look different.

KRISTAL: Yes.

(laughs) Everybody don't have a drive, but you could put the drive in 'em.

(Kristal speaks indistinctly) Yeah.

It's gonna be, it's a blessing...

I'm gonna be good, I promise.

I promise.

I promise.

I learned so much.

(Crystal talking indistinctly) Believe me.

(person responding on speakerphone) (sucks teeth) My sister don't seem like she happy to see me.

CRYSTAL: She happy.

No, she ain't.

CRYSTAL: Trust me.

She happy.

I ain't mad, though.

- XL?

- (exclaims) (laughing): Damn, little cuz.

Fresh air, huh?

Fresh air.

I don't know how to feel, man.

Damn, I ain't been home in so long.

Hey, we here, though.

Jarvae!

JARVAE: You didn't change a bit.

Hey, Jarvae.

Oh... let me call you back.

- Ah!

You glad to be home?

- Yeah, am I?

(cellphone ringing) CRYSTAL: You know, this is FaceTime.

FaceTime.

So you can see.

- Yo, you funny.

- Answer it!

CRYSTAL: You got to answer it.

- Oh, I don't know how to do it.

- (laughs) - I don't know how to do it.

CRYSTAL: All right, that's FaceTime.

NYVAE: He just sitting there.

(indistinct chatter) ♪ ♪ KRISTAL: When Jarvae came home, it was just like a regular day.

I was at work.

My supervisor was like, "Your brother just came home?

You got to leave."

And I'm like, "No, this is just normal.

This is what we do."

(speaking indistinctly) ♪ ♪ KRISTAL: But it was a different feeling 'cause my oldest brother, who's in and out of prison, it was just like, he's home he's back, he's home, he's back.

So, to really see Jarvae home, first time someone had, like, did, like, a long bid like that...

I didn't really know how to react.

I just more so was looking at how excited Nyvae was.

There's 18.

(Nyvae speaks indistinctly) KRISTAL: But for me, I'm just thinking of, like, all the what-ifs.

The only pictures up here are of me being in jail.

Look.

Sad.

We need to take all this down.

No more jail, Ma.

No more jail, Kristal.

♪ ♪ WOMAN: This is the first toast...

The first toast.

JARVAE: Thanks!

I love y'all.

This is called bridging the gap.

- Why you talking so loud?

- Oh, I don't know.

Sorry, I just came home.

I just did 11 years, I'm sorry.

(lively chatter) (cellphone ringing) KRISTAL: Who this?

Your phone is poppin'!

Who that?

Answer it.

Oh, this a jail call?

JARVAE: Yeah, that's one of my guys.

Answer that call.

That's my young'un.

(laughing): Yeah.

Hey, yo, you hear me?

I'm eating shrimp and all that, like, I'm doing me right now.

You hear me?

(laughs) JARVAE: I-I'm having fun.

MAN (on phone): Hey, enjoy yourself, man.

All right, tell everybody I love 'em, bro.

(overlapping chatter) December 25, 1998.

"Dear Daddy, I'm so sorry I did not write you, (chuckling): "but I had a lot of homework.

"I am going to one of the smartest schools.

"My reading level is 7.6.

"I love you so much.

Write back soon.

Love always, your sweetheart."

May 27, 2003.

"Dear Daddy, "It was my fault I wasn't writing you, "but I just want to tell you that I love you.

"Everybody is in the best of health, "but Mommy is really depressed.

"I will be sending you some money as soon as I get some, and I just want you to know that I love you."

Aw!

That's a sweet letter.

Okay.

This is a book that my dad had gave me.

So, on the side of it, it says, "My Family."

And then he has my baby picture, when I was first born.

This is my mom and my dad.

I didn't even recognize that this was my dad 'cause his face was so clear and he looked so young.

This is me and Jarvae, Jarvae giving me a kiss.

These are all pictures from middle school.

That was our eighth-grade school dance.

During college graduation.

Aw... (clicks teeth) So dope.

And then he got Blac Chyna on the back.

So I don't know if he consider Blac Chyna his family, but, um...

These little-behind letters and these little bit of pictures is what kept him going for like 25 years.

And then you just sit back and you question... Darn.

Could I have done more?

♪ ♪ "What's up, Dad?

It's crazy they denied your parole."

"I had faith this time.

"I know you are hurting right now, "but everything is in God's hand.

"Just keep faith and keep going as strong as you have been.

"Like I told you before, I was never mad or upset that you wasn't in my life."

"I turned out to be a good woman.

"I just don't understand why "they didn't give you a second chance to come back out into society."

"Stay focused and keep your head up.

Love, Kristal."

(horse whinnying) Because when I stopped, before I did all that 12 years and all, before I stopped dealing with horses, I was cool.

Then I stopped and I wanted to just go to the streets and live this gangster life.

Oh, my goodness.

Then, look, when I came back, I'm cool.

Like, I'll be...

I don't get into nothing.

People call me all the time.

"Nah, man, I'm going to the horse stable."

One thing I like about the horses, you have a bad day and you stressed out, you come here, you cool.

- Yup.

- You cool.

This is your safe zone.

And I don't got to worry about the horses talking back to me.

Yup.

Might get bit a little bit.

(chuckles) Yeah, yup, Cash might bite you.

But he ain't gonna talk back, though.

(whinnying) Ah, Cash.

Come on, girl.

JARVAE: Being home, I'm just watching friends of mine... Everybody's just getting killed or going to jail.

(Jarvae kisses, distant siren blaring) I'm trying to get her used to being in the city.

I'll be seeing guys that knew me.

Like, "Yo, you home, Jarvae?

What you getting into?"

I'm like, "Man, I'm going to work.

I got some horses."

One day I'm gonna see an old enemy, and me saying, "I'm goin to work and I got these horses" is not gonna work.

I feel like something gonna happen to me, and my mom and my sister are gonna be hurt.

(kisses) Come on.

You feel it knocking on your back door, like it's coming.

You done.

I know you tired.

You done.

(Cash panting) (playful chatter, music playing) (indistinct announcement over P.A.)

(indistinct conversations) I'm Big Crystal.

And when they sentenced my son here, they sentenced me.

I never had a son go away for 11 years.

I kept saying, "Is they gonna really let him go?"

I said, "Oh, I'm gonna be happy when I see him."

And when they opened them doors and they couldn't shut 'em?

Lord.

So y'all just keep us in prayer, and we're gonna keep on praying for y'all.

I want to give her a round of applause for putting this together for all of us, man.

She's so special.

Come here.

(cheers and applause) Come here, get over here.

Come here, get over here, man.

Her and my mom.

Her and my mom.

I mean, I want to let everybody know, right?

This is how good they is, and it's amazing what she's doing, right?

Me and her grew up together.

My mom got three kids, but it was always me and her.

You understand what I'm saying?

My mom left us in the house to go to work, and I fed her.

You understand what I'm saying?

I always been here for my little sister.

Like I said, for a long time, she didn't know, like, how I felt about her, but I love her.

(cheers and applause) Thank y'all for coming out, man.

Keep enjoying.

Um, I'm not an emotional person, uh, so I'm gonna just hold back my tears.

But, um, I just want to thank everybody for coming out.

Bridging the Gap been in existence for five years.

Five, yes, bumpy years.

It'd been moments where I wanted to give up.

It'd been moments for...

While I was doing Bridging the Gap, me and my brother wasn't even talking for like two years out of those years, um, because our roles switched.

I went from being the sister to this baby mom, this nagging baby mom, and we just couldn't get it together.

But honestly, soon as he came home, it's like, it just went right back, you know.

And if any of y'all have any loved ones that's incarcerated, I encourage y'all to go see them because they are coming home.

And when they do come home, we have to be there.

We have to be their backbone, because the thing is, it's easy for them to come home, but the hard part is for them staying home.

Bridging the Gap!

(cheers and applause) (indistinct chatter) KRISTAL: I got to go to a home visit, Nyvae.

Got to hurry up.

Hey, I'm running late, I just got my nephew from school.

I remember in my high school yearbook, they said, "What do you want to be?

"I want to be a social worker."

I go to court and I advocate for different families.

I keep families connected.

Was your husband able to go to the doctor?

Okay, 'cause I had met with DHS, and they're giving us until Monday.

I knew from a child how much of an impact a social worker hav on keeping the family connected.

And that was just from my personal experience when DHS came to my house.

I knew that that one person was responsible for me actually staying home with my mom.

(knocking) FAITH: Hey.

(indistinct chatter) - How you doing?

- Good.

How is everybody?

(overlapping chatter) Oh, so you got a 36 out of 37 'cause you missed one.

NYVAE: But we working on another one, too.

So that's an improvement.

You're doing your assignments.

- Kristal?

- Hmm.

He's not failing any of his classes?

KRISTAL: So you got different workers that's in and out of your house, you know, making sure that you're doing everything right.

Being a social worker, I was able to advocate for my nephew.

But someone who didn't work in the system, it can be very intimidating.

All right, Nyvae, have a good one, okay?

- Okay.

- Have a good one.

KRISTAL: When I first got Nyvae, I thought it was gonna be easy.

I knew a lot of the attorneys, I knew a lot of the judges, and I knew a lot of the social workers.

But having somebody come into your personal home just put a whole different level of pressure.

You always just have this worry: At any moment they can decid to remove Nyvae out of my care.

And that's when I really realized we have to push for adoption.

Got it.

(Kristal exclaims) Oh, my...

CRYSTAL: I am making some spaghetti for my son.

It's his favorite.

Hey, y'all.

KRISTAL: This stuff is old, come on.

JARVAE: I just came from jail, where people would die to eat old food.

KRISTAL: Well not us.

And you out of jail now.

How about that?

I got you something.

Open it up.

KRISTAL: Read your card.

You gonna read it to me?

All right, it says, "I admire your walk as a strong man and a good father and I appreciate you for the person you are."

Aw, give me a hug, dawg.

NYVAE: Oh, you gonna break my neck, gonna break my neck.

I love you, man.

(Nyvae speaking indistinctly) (laughter) (playful chatter) (laughing): Bah!

No!

(playful chatter) Come on!

JARVAE: Look at you.

Better watch out before you get hit by a car.

(Kristal speaking indistinctly) (Nyvae growls) ♪ ♪ (indistinct chatter) One of my dad's friends be wearing them tight-behind jeans.

KRISTAL: I'm, like, all over.

I don't know if I'm the mom.

Ten dollars.

KRISTAL: I don't know if I should be daughter.

I don't know if I should play boss.

ALL: Bridging the Gap.

(laughs) ♪ Baby, 'cause you're the one that I love.

♪ (laughter) KRISTAL: When I'm out with friends, that's probably when I act like a 28-year-old.

(laughs) But other than that... (speaks indistinctly) ...so many people depend on me.

When I'm away and I'm, like, able to, like, let my guard down... ALL: ♪ Hold up, wait a minute ♪ ♪ Y'all thought I was finished?

♪ ♪ When I bought that Aston Martin ♪ ♪ Y'all thought it was rented?

♪ ...not worry about everything that I'm going through, and, you know, just live life a little bit.

♪ I can do whatever I want ♪ ♪ I'm a grown woman.

♪ KRISTAL (on phone): I'm actually tired.

Trying to get myself together.

NYVAE: Every time you go away, you always tired.

I know.

You want to see the ocean?

No.

Psych, no, yeah, I want to see it.

KRISTAL: We was on a boat yesterday.

We went and watched the sunset.

All right, well, I'm about to go change my clothes.

NYVAE: All right.

What's up, man?

JARVAE: The life that I was living, it could have been a lot worse.

It's sad that I had to do all the time because it took me away from my kids, my family and stuff.

But at the end of the day, I learned a lot.

I learned patience and I learned, like, the streets is not for me.

I really appreciate my sister you know, because like, my son, where he was living at prior to this, it was like... the worst, but you know, she gave him a second chance.

I didn't ask her, but she did it on her own to take care of my son and, you know, try to show him a different life.

I don't know how to tell her, like, I really do appreciate and love her for that.

The TV on?

- Hello?

- (on phone): Nyvae?

Yes.

I'm coming down there tomorrow.

How you gonna get down here?

I had got permission to stay a couple days if I needed to.

What time you get out of school?

NYVAE: Oh, I get out of school at like 4:00.

4:00?

- Yeah.

4:00.

- Wow.

That's crazy that I'm on the phone with you.

Mm-hmm.

(on phone): Let me- I'm about to pull the picture up and then post that one.

I love you.

I love you, too.

All right.

I just...

I don't want him to go into the system.

I mean, long as I know he's somewhere where he's safe and he cool and he happy, I'm good.

Wherever he goes, whatever happens, I'm gonna be a part of his life, though, so it don't even matter.

I want to be with my aunt.

And my mom.

And my dad.

But, like...

I, like...

I wouldn't say... Like, I want to be with my aunt, but I wouldn't say that in front of my mom because... JARVAE: He don't want to hurt her feelings.

No, 'cause, like, 'cause I already know how she is.

She gonna, like, start, like... She gonna be mad and think that I'm pushing her aside.

So that's why I don't say that in front of my... my mom.

'Cause she, she gonna think I'm pushing her aside, think I don't love her no more.

Stuff... stuff like that.

CRYSTAL: I didn't get no sleep.

I'm tired.

I-I worked my job.

At Fox Chase, I worked three days there.

And I took a van load of people up to Forrest.

When my daughter's not here and she away, that's how I get fatigued.

Grandson.

NYVAE: I got a tan.

Look!

CRYSTAL: In the field.

You was in the football field.

NYVAE: Look!

You see that light and then that dark?

CRYSTAL: Is you my color yet?

No.

(laughs) No, I just been bringing him over.

He had football.

What?

What time is court tomorrow?

Kristal is really looking forward to adopting her nephew.

Like... she's, like, really looking forward to it.

Because it's been dragging for the last, what, three years?

For real, for real, I'll be glad when this is all over.

♪ ♪ (sirens wailing in distance) AUTOMATED VOICE (on phone): You have a call from Pennsylvani State Correctional Institution.

KRISTAL: Dad, now how do it feel to be paroled?

VICTOR: Huh?

I said, so how do it feel, after 24 years?

VICTOR: Well, well, well... Well, it... well, it feels good, but it will feel even bette when I walk out on solid ground.

(laughs) Oh, man.

What's your sizes again?

VICTOR: 3X.

3X.

Dad, you not no 3X.

VICTOR: Well, 2X then.

You want all this stuff to be extra big.

VICTOR: Well, I don't want nothing tight.

(laughs) You don't want to be like these young guys?

VICTOR: No, I don't want to be.

I'm not a young guy no more.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, you got to make up 24 years.

- You got to go back 24 years.

- No.

Well, you know what, baby, you can't make up 24 years.

No, you can't.

- Well, listen-- VICTOR: You gotta go ahead and move on with life, now.

I'm gonna call you tomorrow morning at 7:45.

Baby, I love you.

All right, love you, too, Dad.

♪ ♪ (indistinct chatter) Come on, I want one good family picture!

Dad, move over.

I am!

This is a selfie!

- I'm taking a... - A selfie?

KRISTAL I felt like a little girl, like, "Oh, my mom and dad!"

I never had a picture with both parents.

Just even just at that moment, it was like, wow, I really have like my mom and my dad here.

For once it feels, like, normal.

VICTOR: I used to say "I hope that you ain't mad at me for not being in your life."

I cared even though I wasn't there.

It didn't seem (chuckling): like 24, but it felt like 24, for real.

You know, and I was just, you know, blessed to be coming home, you know what I mean?

See, see my little girl.

Well, not no little girl, you know, but... my big girl.

Me, I just hope, you know, I get a steady, nice job.

And now, you know, like I told her, you know, "I'll take care of the vans for you.

"I'll wash the vans.

You don't got to worry about that."

And that's... that's what I do.

I moved into a little efficiency.

Kristal help pay the rent, so I'm depending on her, yo know, unless something come up.

But I'm not gonna do nothing illegal to get some money because, no, I'm not going back.

I'm not gonna leave her again.

Yeah, every-everything was like new.

It still is like new.

And I still haven't learned how to use the... the computer yet, you know.

I say you got to crawl before you walk, so therefore, I'm crawling now, you know, so eventually I'm gonna walk because al the applications I'm putting in, they ain't gonna keep saying no now.

♪ ♪ Riding around with my daddy.

This is the first time he ever brought me lunch.

Mm-hmm, he been locked up for 25 years, but he out now.

Look at you, mm-hmm.

So, every Wednesda my dad come and he wash the vans and he make sure everything is good.

But this Wednesday he left me his résumé.

We are out in the rain.

Wait... (laughs) I decided to come and buy him some socks; things that he can just sell.

How many come in there?

I'll try and sell two pair of these for five dollars.

KRISTAL: Look, my dad done got somebody to draw this for me, and a T-shirt.

Bridging the Gap.

They are so creative in prison.

So creative.

Thanks, Dad.

Oh, man, this is not right.

'Cause I can't see, my eyes.

It's like so itchy.

VICTOR: Tell your mom to bring you over some eye drops.

KRISTAL: Oh, here go the key, Dad.

That check engine light came on.

(coughing) My issue is, I'm doing too much.

I'm doing the van service.

I'm doing this stuff with Nyvae.

And then Jarvae...

I'm just, I'm just real shocked at how uninvolved he is with Nyvae.

Well, my aunt asked me, um, do I want to go, like, go away?

I want to go to Egypt to see, like, the pyramids, and that's what we learn at school in history.

We also learn like where Egypt is located.

It's in Northeast Africa.

That's what I learned in, um, in history.

I also want to go to Alabama.

I just want to see the, like, Martin Luther King stuff.

(coughs) KRISTAL: Oh, is this her block?

Hello?

I'm outside.

Good morning.

Her brother is one of like the oldest people that's in Huntingdon.

And they've been going up there faithfully.

It's been 40 years?

WOMAN: Mm-hmm.

What?

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, man.

Do he fall underneath the juvenile lifers?

You know, I really, I can't even remember, Kristal.

That's how long...

It just, out of my mind.

KRISTAL: But that's good y'all still going out there to see him, though.

He's still family, he is.

He's still family.

I don't care.

To death.

Right.

KRISTAL: All right, if you guys are going to Benner and Rockview, y'all can get with this black van.

Did y'all see my dad did this van, too?

It's all shining.

♪ ♪ It's not just you doing the time.

It's us too.

And at the end of the day, we do that with you.

When you call and you complain, and like "I wanna be home," and "I wanna this," that takes a toll on us too, like you don't see that.

You know what I mean?

We're not out here just doing nothing, like.

WOMAN: It's time for him to definitely step up or whatever 'cause you've been taking these trips in these mountains since like... That ain't no joke.

My ass hurts.

- Exactly, it's not no joke... - It ain't no joke.

Even when I had my car, I would drive.

I would drive.

KRISTAL: It's traumatic just to go to a prison.

I would drop people off and, you know, just be out there very emotional.

Looking at this prison like, damn, like, this place is what really broke up my family?

All the searches and the distance that they're placing our people in.

The treatment that they got to go through.

The dynamic of a prison, it's set up to break us.

Ladies, have a nice visit.

WOMAN: Thank you.

You, too.

(lock buzzes) WOMAN: What, you taking our picture as we walk up?

(laughter) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ KRISTAL: All right, Tasheen.

TASHEEN: I'm gonna text you tomorrow.

KRISTAL: Okay.

All right, Ms. Williams, thank you.

MS. WILLIAMS: Okay.

KRISTAL: Okay, good night.

WOMAN: His phone just went to voicemail.

WOMAN 2: The next block.

CRYSTAL (crying): Oh, God.

Oh, God.

(Crystal sobbing) KRISTAL: Got the cops coming and kicking my mom's door down again.

No!

I work too hard for everything I got.

I know, I know.

No, they didn't call or nothing.

KRISTAL: Mm-hmm.

(muttering) Mm.

It's like I'm reliving this (muted) again.

(sighs deeply) She's seen the papers out there that prove that the warrant... it was a search warrant for Jarvae.

For an assault and a shooting.

That's basically what happened.

The cops came in and just terrorized everything.

(drill whirring) The people that kicked my door in, the cops, they tore... My house is in a shamble.

KRISTAL: I don't know how they-- I don't know how they knew to come directly here or what.

Mommy was out helping me pick people up this morning.

She came home at around 6:30, 6:00, like, 7:00, about to go to church, and she didn't want to come in because she thought somebody else came in.

Come to find out it was the cops coming here searching, looking for you.

JARVAE (on phone): So what is they saying?

So they saying it's for an assault and a shooting or something like that.

JARVAE: Oh.

KRISTAL: My whole thing is, what you got to say, "All right"?

Say, "Sorry, Mom."

Like this, this is what like... Come on, you're too calm.

(indistinct shouting) JARVAE: What are you talking about?

No.

Apologize to your mom.

That's what you need to do.

JARVAE: Look, she know I'm sorry!

No, she don't know that you're sorry.

All calm.

Everything that she ever (muted) got to go through Everything that she ever (muted) got to go through is because of you.

Say that you (muted) sorry.

(phone clicks) Sitting here all acting all calm.

He ain't about to go turn himself in.

And he won't come in here and clean it up.

Nobody gonna make her do it by herself.

The women always got to be left to pick up the damn mess.

(crying): I just asked him to turn himself in.

He talking about he's not going back to jail.

I said, you know, "I have no money for no lawyers or nothing.

"I don't have it.

"I don't, I don't.

Why you do this to me?"

(Crystal sniffling) (choir singing over video) I try so hard.

PASTOR (over video): Do you love your savior?

Give him praise today.

Jesus alone is worthy.

I said he alone is worthy.

I'm just shaking.

I just want everything just to be over, like... you know.

(sighs) WOMAN: It's like, you know, the roller coaster that won't stop.

- Yeah.

- It just keeps spinning around and around and around and around and around and around and around, like... Just keep taking deep breaths.

You got to breathe.

(breathing deeply) Yeah, deep breaths.

(breathing deeply) (dog barking in distance) (birds chirping) When my dad got locked up, I had nothing to say about that.

That's on him.

He was... like that's on him.

My mom, when I had kept hearing my mom getting locked up, that's on her too.

That's... that's her fault.

He could've stayed out of jail.

He had a girlfriend.

He had a job.

He was chillin'.

He was getting money.

Chillin'.

That's when... ...he messed up, I guess.

Like all people.

(muttering) (dog barking) (sighs) KRISTAL: He got a 43% in history, a 43.

That's like you ain't do nothing.

Yo!

He missed, he missed so much, like he missed...

There's all these incomplete assignments and everything.

So then I checked the thing, they gave him a printout on the 17th.

He knew that he had an F. But you're sitting up here showing me all the other stuff when you got A's and B's.

What is the "create your own civilization"?

What's that?

That you got an F in?

You got an F in homework, F in assessments, F in classwork.

You just... you done got an F all around the board.

Why you didn't look at this?

Did you look at it?

So why didn't you come tell me?

You so sneaky.

I cannot believe you.

Yeah, you real, you're real sneaky.

And I don't like...

I don't know.

What's up with you?

- Huh?

- (muttering) It don't matter where it go.

You need to do all that work.

You told me to go... Yo, stop (muted) playing with me, yo.

Like, it don't (muted) matter where the (muted) it go.

And why are you even writing on this anyway?

Go get a book!

Go get a book!

Like, come on.

Like, you sitting up here... You like, how you got all these missing assignments?

Like, when was you going to choose to do them?

Where your math folder at?

NYVAE: It's...

It's there.

Just... KRISTAL: Like, come on.

And you need to wipe down all this.

Straighten up.

Wipe it all down.

Take all this stuff out.

Refold everything.

I'm not playing with you.

You're not playing basketball.

(indistinct yelling in distance) KRISTAL: I checked Nyvae's book bag.

(voice breaking): Like, right now, how my aunt... (sniffles) ...how my aunt just was yelling at me.

I tried like... like, I did have good grades.

Like last year I always had bad grades.

I always had like... (sniffles) C's and stuff.

And like, she used to always yell at me and stuff.

Then... Now, I'm-a bring...

I'm-a, um... (sniffles) I'm-a bring my grades up.

And that's when she gonna be sorry.

So that's why I don't ask for her help.

(sniffles) Are you ready to go around the corner?

She said the same one...

I hope they got the right size.

She said the same side, on-on the driver's side.

- I got that van key right here.

- All right.

I learned this over the years I've been with her.

My aunt never can't be wrong.

She has to be right.

Everything.

Everything she do.

She got to be right.

She can't be wrong.

Like, just... she never can just, like, make a mistake or whatever.

She always got to be right.

All right, Dad, see if they've got the tire.

KRISTAL: Nyvae, he has two living parents that pick and choose when they want to call, when they want to be involved.

For all these years, it was kind of like a holdback.

Like I didn't want to overstep boundaries that his mother role should have been.

But as he's getting older, he'll say things like, like, even with football, like, "All right, can you just act like you my mom?"

He just want his parents.

♪ ♪ CRYSTAL After my brother fixed the door, it was two Wednesdays after that, it happened again.

The cops came back the second time and kicked my door in.

It makes me angry.

I feel as though I have been violated.

I'm a homeowner here.

I don't owe nothing on this.

No mortgage.

I'm a homeowner.

They do not do that to the white people at all.

Why do it to me?

It still makes me angry, but I try to control it... ...because I was just hurting myself.

CHOIR: ♪ And the power, and the glory ♪ ♪ Forever ♪ PASTOR: And if your faith is in action, it ought to be able to go and touch people in their need.

I just want you to touch someone.

CRYSTAL: I always use that word, "why."

Why'd this happen?

Like now, my problem is, like, my oldest son Jabo, somebody said he's out there on drugs, taking them pills and stuff.

I rode past where he be at and seen him on the porch.

He had this hoodie on beard looked like he need a cut.

So I go back around the block to give him $20.

He was back in the house.

I said, I wasn't knockin' on the door 'cause I know he doing bad.

But I don't know.

I guess he don't want to see me... like, me seeing him like that.

So I be depressed about that.

That's my oldest child.

I couldn't imagine being without any of my kids.

One of my kids gettin' killed or somethin'...

I think I'm-a go with 'em.

It's that mother love.

(birds twittering) ♪ ♪ KRISTAL: Here we go.

It's coming.

♪ It's coming, it's coming.

♪ ♪ Got a whole billboard.

♪ I should have brought my phone!

KRISTAL: Let me take a picture of you.

Come over this way.

(chuckles) "Join our team!

Now hiring!"

♪ ♪ - Nyvae.

- Yeah?

- You dressed?

- No.

(indistinct chatter) (muttering) (playful chatter) ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday, dear Nyvae ♪ ♪ How old are you?

♪ Thirteen.

♪ How old are you?

♪ (group clapping) - Hey!

MAN: Do we have a birthday boy today?

- Me.

- What's your name, man?

- Nyvae.

- Nyvae?

Best part about it being Nyvae's birthday is, he does not have to give up his controller.

(video game music playing, boys laughing) (indistinct chatter) BOY: Give me the ball, give me the ball, give me the ball!

(laughter) (indistinct chatter) BOY: Touchdown, touchdown, touchdown!

(indistinct chatter) Akhi, you need to grow.

KRISTAL: Nyvae, take your hood off.

Whoo.

(indistinct chatter) BOY: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

All right, nah, y'all got to do two, y'all got to do... (overlapping chatter) All right, count to ten!

Nine, ten...

Here I come!

Find you!

♪ ♪ KRISTAL: I got court today.

WOMAN (on phone): Why you going to court?

For Nyvae, for the adoption.

WOMAN: Oh, okay.

♪ ♪ (doors creaking) (quiet chatter) ♪ ♪ KRISTAL: It still ain't finalized.

MAN (on phone): What happened?

I was able to speak to one of the judges 'cause I had told them that I had a prison van service and after court she kind of pulled me to the side and said that, um...

I think a lot of judges is getting in trouble because they're terminating on parental rights without allowing incarcerated parents to-- um, you know, informing them.

All right, thank you.

So I told her, like, you know, "I had him since he was like six or seven."

"Now he's 13."

She was like, "Wait, what?"

The system is just flawed, period.

Because they're not moving on their end, we got to redo everything every year.

The judge just was like, "Well, do you go anything that you want to add?"

I said, "The only thing I want to add is, when will my adoption be finalized?"

♪ ♪ (cellphone chimes) (dog barking) JABO: Yeah, it's me, big brother.

(indistinct chatter) Yo!

There's Jabo.

(laughing) WOMAN: Aww, happy Mother's Day.

KRISTAL: Jarvae and Jabo came home.

For all these years, while they were in prison, it was really just me and my mom.

And I wanted to have that feeling of just... having my family complete.

Having my mom happy.

I can't even remember when the last time she had all of her children together.

I thought I'd give my mom that for her Mother's Day.

(indistinct chatter, laughter) ♪ ♪ VICTOR: She sent me her report cards.

I even put some of her letters in there.

Hey!

What's up, buddy?

♪ ♪ VICTOR: When you don't use blinkers, that's when accidents happen.

No, because I know when I'm moving!

When I seen you shoot over, with no blinker, I tried to call your phone, you wouldn't even... (laughter) ♪ ♪ All of 'em is her.

As, you know, from little all the way up.

Yeah, I made that when I was in jail.

WOMAN: See you next week.

Be safe.

Be careful!

All right, you, too.

♪ ♪ (indistinct chatter, laughter) ♪ ♪ Yeah, so I'm having a lunch date over here by the water with my father.

And... ...what's so crazy is, he may be going back to jail.

For a parole, for a parole violation.

So he was selling marijuana socks.

His parole agent came out to the house yesterday and seen the socks... and said that he is encouraging illegal drugs.

And another one of the things was, he couldn't work under the table.

So basically he couldn't sell socks, he needed to be on, like, a payroll.

So, when you're released from prison, you're still being supervised.

So for my dad to be possibly going back to jail for selling socks that I bought him, and I thought was a legitimate business, is crazy.

People be like, "Oh, my God, your dad is out.

Like, how are you stressed?

Shouldn't it be good?"

Yeah, it's good, but at the same time, you still have to be reminded at any wrongdoing, he can go back.

I don't even have prison clothes no more.

I wear this.

(laughs) I don't even got a prison bra.

Lord.

♪ ♪ KRISTAL: I'm just dealing wit my father being re-incarcerated for selling pepper spray and socks.

So he got to do six months.

I think it's very unfortunate.

He had jobs, he had things lined up, all his stuff was situated.

So for everything just to be cut off and then here it is, he got to start all over again, it's just like an interruption.

I mean, that's what frustrates me.

On my way to see my daddy.

♪ ♪ It is traumatic when your loved one is going back to prison.

When you're sitting up here and you're trying to live your life, trying to put the prisons and all the trauma behind you and you've got to just relive it.

♪ ♪ I don't think Black women, I don't think we're given enough credit for how much we actually bear.

I'm looked at as "Oh, she's strong, she's fine," when really the strongest people have moments where, you know, they break down.

I used to think it was more so like, I'm the youngest, I'm my mom's only girl.

This is how I ended up in college and I didn't end up in prison.

But as time went on, I started realizin it is systems that are in place that disrupt the Black family.

Although it was that individual that made that choice, I think it goes hand in hand.

We can do everything in our power.

If they don't like all the efforts, they can take it all away.

KRISTAL: Nyvae, pass me my makeup bag.

You need it now?

WOMAN: We about to blow-dry this side again.

Yes, this my birthday gift from you.

The only way I would do it straight is...

I can do a bun.

WOMAN: Why don't you wear a curly bun?

You'll be real mommy-ish.

KRISTAL: Mommy-ish?

I was about to say, "(muted), I ain't trying to be 30 looking like a mom!"

(laughter) WOMAN: We working with what we got.

Still could be professional-ish.

(laughter) (blow-dryer whirring) I'm turning 30.

I'm getting old.

And I actually feel really good.

WOMAN: Accomplished.

KRISTAL: It's not even that I feel old.

The scary part is, I did so much in my 20s, now that I think I'm in my 30s, I feel like, wow, okay, now what else?

Like, come on.

Bring it.

You feel me, Nyvae?

- Yes, ma'am.

ALL: Surprise!

Happy birthday!

(indistinct chatter) Why'd you ask me what was I doing?

I was like, "I don't know!"

(hip-hop music playing) Let me take y'all picture.

(indistinct chatter, laughter) ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ Whoo!

♪ ♪ (sirens wailing) KRISTAL: I think they was arguing, and I think his girlfriend shot him four times, in the house, in front of the kids.

♪ ♪ (all crying) JARVAE (crying): Oh, my God.

I love you, sis.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (water stops) (birds twittering) CRYSTAL (on phone): Send me the address.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

I got to send you the address, but I was just calling to check on you.

But I'm going to leave out in like ten minutes.

They want me to be there at 7:45 to take a picture.

All right, let me, let me hurry up.

But try to get yourself together so we can get through this breakfast thing.

- All right.

- All right, Ma, I love you.

CRYSTAL: Love you.

CRYSTAL (on phone): My baby.

My baby.

(muted)damn!

Why'd she do that?

Mom, don't make me cry.

(muted) damn... damn... No, it's really going to be okay.

CRYSTAL: Oh, God.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Hello!

- Hi, how are you?

(busy chatter) "The Disruptors."

You over there.

(laughter) ♪ ♪ (playing gentle melody) - Hi.

ALEXIS: Hi.

I'm Alexis.

I actually work for the College of Liberal Arts.

Congratulations.

- Thank you.

I really appreciate it.

I'm so proud.

This is my mom.

I'm Crystal, too.

(laughter) (chatter continues) WOMAN: For a special "30 under 30" issue of the Temple magazine, we sought to identify young alumni who are making waves in their careers and in their communities.

The selected 2019 honorees stood out as exemplary among our esteemed group of more than 43,000 young Temple graduates.

CRYSTAL: Wow.

WOMAN: Kristal Bush was already making regular trips to prisons to visit both her father and brother and thought it made sense to bring along others who needed a ride.

It reunited more than 600 families in 2018.

Kristal, your service greatly impacts the lives of so many.

Congratulations.

(applause) (indistinct chatter) - One more!

♪ ♪ Ma, open your eyes!

(laughing) (indistinct chatter) (laughs) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (busy chatter) KRISTAL: All right, come on, we got to go in there for Mommy.

Give me a hug.

JARVAE: It's hard, man.

We're never going to see him again.

(chatter continues) KRISTAL: Nyvae, you all right?

You want a hug?

(crying): It's like we never have enough time, and I'll be the first to admit, all that community work, all that church work, all that ministry work, it means nothing if you can't pick up the phone and call your own family, and say, "I love you."

(applause) ♪ ♪ The thing that I'm just asking God is like, "What am I supposed to learn?"

Like, "What am I supposed to take from this?"

"How am I supposed to move forward from this and now keep my own family connected?"

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I got-- I got a, um, C in music, I got a B in history, I got A-plus in art and I got an A-minus in science.

But I passed, I passed seventh grade.

I'm going to eighth grade.

That's all my grades.

Shirt.

(music playing faintly over earbuds) Stop touching me.

Chill!

We are a couple minutes away.

- Away.

- ♪ Away, away, away!

♪ (laughing) They're going to say, "Do you want to be adopted?"

- This is my address?

- Your address.

Yeah.

♪ ♪ MAN (on phone): Tell your aun I want her to start teaching you the cities and the states, you heard me?

NYVAE: Yes.

(laughing) Hey, my name is Nyvae.

I'm about to show you a video.

♪ ♪ (laughter) ♪ ♪ Come on, Nyvae, let's see your teeth.

Show 'em.

Yes!

Congratulations, kiddo.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

I appreciate it.

Yes!

WOMAN: Congratulations, kiddo.

Look at him.

Mm.

We got him.

CRYSTAL: It's official now.

(indistinct chatter) Yes!

MAN: All right.

All right, Kristal, congratulations.

All right.

Yes, do y'all see this?

It's official.

I got a son.

(all laughing) - Yay!

- Congratulations!

- Thank you.

(all laughing) Wait, I just posted the picture, and I just received, like, so much love.

So, so much love.

I think it's some closure that we both needed, um, because it really do take a village.

I did not do this to...

I know this all serious for you, Nyvae.

- Mm-hmm.

I'm listening.

- (laughs) I didn't do this to, you know, replace his parents.

I didn't do this to change his name or anything like that.

I really just did this because if I wouldn't have ever done it, he would have been lost in the system, just because his parents were incarcerated.

Um, so, yeah, like, that's my baby.

So I'm hype because I got a son.

A neph-son.

Right, Nyvae?

You got anything to say?

- Mm-mm.

He's just still chill, laid-back.

But hey, y'all, hey!

(laughs) (chatter over phone) (indistinct chatter) KRISTAL: Where the hell he learn all this from?

NYVAE: I learned that in wellness class.

All right.

Let me lay down.

Go ahead.

NYVAE: Leave that on.

Leave that on.

Spa.

(laughing) KRISTAL: Nyvae, this is what you watch?

♪ ♪ KRISTAL: Hello?

WOMAN (on phone): Hi, Kristal?

KRISTAL: Yes.

WOMAN: Hi, hun, just calling from SCI Phoenix.

Yes, how are you doing?

WOMAN: I'm good.

Were you gonna be coming by to pick up, um, Victor?

Yes, I'm ten minutes away.

Okay, hun, when you get here just go into the entrance by the flagpole.

Okay.

And then we'll send him right out.

All right, thank you.

- Thank you.

Bye-bye.

- KRISTAL: Bye-bye.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ KRISTAL: Nyvae?

Nyvae.

You're getting your first passport stamp!

Your first passport stamp.

♪ ♪ Assalamu alaikum.

Wa 'alaykumu s-salam.

Ooh.

(laughs) - (screaming, whooping) - Oh, my God!

(muttering) CRYSTAL: I didn't want to go on this!

I love roller coasters, so I'm not bothered.