[Orchestra tuning instruments, indistinct chatter] Woman over PA: All members of Pizazz, beginners onstage.

Woman over PA: Standing by.

And...curtain.

[Cheering and applause] [Indistinct P.A.

announcements] Hello, pumpkin!

Hi, Mum.

I... Ohh.

[Playing funk music] ♪ Aw, yeah ♪ Welcome back from the Big Apple, Charlie, from all of us here at "Pizazz."

Mum?

Performer: Let's go!

♪ Everybody ♪ ♪ Rock your body ♪ Both: ♪ Everybody ♪ ♪ Rock your body right ♪ ♪ Charlie's back, all right ♪ [Backstreet Boys' "Everybody" continues] ♪ ♪ Oh, my God, he's back again ♪ ♪ Brothers, sisters, everybody, sing ♪ Women: ♪ Gonna bring the flavour, show you how ♪ Men: ♪ Got a question for you, better answer now ♪ ♪ Is he original?

♪ Chorus: ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Is he the only one?

♪ Chorus: ♪ Yeah ♪ Woman: ♪ Is he sexual?

♪ Chorus: ♪ Yeah ♪ All: ♪ Is he everything you need?

♪ ♪ You better rock your body now ♪ ♪ Everybody ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Rock your body ♪ ♪ Yeah, everybody... ♪ Charlie: Ow.

Sorry.

Chorus: ♪ Rock your body right... ♪ Man: ♪ Rock your body right... ♪ What are you-- Don't do the lift.

Don't do the lift!

Don't... Chorus: ♪ Everybody ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Rock your body ♪ ♪ Everybody ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Everybody rock your body ♪ Chorus: ♪ Everybody ♪ ♪ Rock your body right ♪ Man: ♪ Everybody ♪ ♪ Charlie's back, all right!

♪ [P.A.

announcements continue] ♪ [Squeak] Don't even like the Backstreet Boys.

Well, I thought it was great.

Well, you--you had a poster of them on your wall.

Mum, that was NSYNC.

I thought you liked that Nick Carter guy.

It was Justin Timberlake.

And I didn't like him, I loved him.

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Your mother's a monster.

Mum, you're not... you're not a monster.

It was a lovely gesture.

I just wasn't expecting it, that's all.

It's just that everyone's so happy you're home, darling.

We've been through this, Mum.

I'm not home.

I just had to leave the country while they process my visa.

I know, I know.

But it's the timing, isn't it?

I mean, you're doing a musical on Broadway, and we're doing a brand-new musical at Pizazz.

It's crazy.

It's just so exciting.

I remember you as a little boy pretending to be a cat, and now you're directing "Cats" on Broadway.

[Chuckles] Oh, come on.

You gotta tell me everything.

What's Andrew Lloyd Webber like?

Is he small?

Because he seems small.

He's your average composer height.

What about Sally Field?

Is she nice?

I bet she smells nice.

She's...fabulous.

You know, I prayed she wouldn't die.

Mum, she was never gonna die.

She broke her wrist.

Yeah, well, that's why I sent her a card.

Oh.

Does Tauranga not have 5G?

[Scoffs] Mm!

We've got all the Gs, darling.

Well, then why are my emails not working?

Well, we can get that sorted at Pizazz.

No!

You said we were going to your place.

I just got off a 16-hour flight.

Muffin, it's the auditions.

You have to come.

I promised everyone you would.

Mum, just stop!

I'm sorry.

I don't know.

It's jet lag.

Yeah.

That's all right, darling.

We'll go home.

Is that a new coat?

Oh.

You know, I knew you'd notice.

Guess how much.

$200?

Oh, try half that.

[Chuckles] Tauranga.

Hmm.

[Deadpan] Tauranga.

♪ [Sea gull caws] What do you think?

It's like it's just come out of the packet.

Aw!

[Chuckles] Ta-da.

What's this?

Mum: This is your room.

[Chuckles] But I've never lived in this house.

Well, I know, but I just-- I recreated it.

Oh.

It's like I was murdered when I was 12.

Now, Peanut, now... this is the first original musical Pizazz has ever done.

And even if you just pop your head in for five-- I'd love to, Mum, truly, but I've got work.

I won't say another word.

[Cellphone chimes] Sealing lips right now.

What?

[Gasps] Is it Sally Field?

Is she dead?

They've rejected my visa.

Who did?

I don't know.

The president?

I need to call my manager.

Oh, you need to talk to Nicky.

Automated message: No service available.

Who's Nicky?

She's my friend.

She's an expert at visa stuff.

There are visa experts in Tauranga?

Yes, darling.

It's not Masterton.

Come on.

OK.

[Birds squawking] Mum?

Hmm?

No, why are we here?

To see Nicky.

No, this is Pizazz.

Yeah.

She's the stage manager.

No.

Mum, please.

Mum, I don't have time for this.

Do you want to get this visa sorted or not?

Come on, tuppence.

[Music plays, muffled] [Muffled sound of cheering, tap-dancing] [Sound fades] Man: All I'm asking for is complete devotion-- for you to give your body and soul over to your director.

[Laughter] Ah, Madam President.

Hi.

[Door shuts] Charles.

Adrian.

See that, everybody?

Mum, come on.

Adrian: The famous Broadway director remembers me.

Hi.

Um, thank you for the welcome.

It was unforgettable.

[Applause] Eyes on me!

Now, for some of you, this will be the most important day of your lives.

Let me give you a bit of advice.

Don't bugger it up.

[Chuckles] Um, which one's Nicky... Um... Adrian: Gloria, do you have anything to add?

Shh.

I guess I wrote "The Trojan Horse" because I wanted to empower women to consider their-- I was speaking musically.

Gloria: Oh, um... just have fun.

It's not a kindergarten, Gloria.

Impress me!

[Piano music] ♪ We're off to war, we'll sail across the oceans ♪ Ooh.

♪ We're off to war, we're off to fight the Trojans ♪ Mum?

Mm-hmm?

Is Nicky even here?

Shush!

Singer: I'm sorry.

Can I start that again?

[Piano music] ♪ We're off to war, we've gathered the Achaeans ♪ Different singer: ♪ We're off to war ♪ ♪ We're crossing the Aegean ♪ [Song ends] Mum: And next is Connor Onosa'i.

Hmm?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh.

Oh.

Uh, have you had any professional training?

I've got my electrical licence.

Oh.

[Chuckles] [Piano music] Right.

♪ Helen, my queen ♪ ♪ You're looking fine ♪ ♪ Let me be your prince ♪ ♪ May you be mine ♪ Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

I just really think that wiring is unsafe.

Oh.

Connor: Could be a hazard.

Just so everyone knows.

Yes.

[Piano music] ♪ We won't back down ♪ ♪ 'Cause there's a town we must destroy ♪ ♪ We won't be coming back... ♪ ♪ Until we've... ♪ ♪ Captured... ♪ ♪ Tro... ♪ [All singing at different pitches] ♪ ...oy ♪ Troy!

Mia So'otaga?

Is that Nicky?

Oh, yes.

Sit down!

I can't do this.

I can't do this, Ezra, please.

[Whimpers] Come on.

You were born to play Helen of Troy.

I know.

That's what makes this so hard.

It's OK.

Mia?

Come on.

♪ I launched a thousand ships, but will I start a war?

♪ ♪ 'Cause it's me they're ♪ ♪ Fighting ♪ ♪ For ♪ [Bell ringing] Adrian: That's tea.

Thank Christ.

Hm.

Adrian: Ugh.

[Women talking at once] [Woman laughs] Hello, Peter.

Sorry?

As in Peter Pan.

Are we gonna see a little tap-tap dancing today?

Tap, tap.

I don't really tap-dance any more.

But thank you for the memories.

I'm just gonna... Ezra: Go, go, go.

Mia: Excuse me.

But would you be able to sign this?

Oh, no, I--Thanks.

I'm good.

Ahem.

[Squeals] That was amazing.

Oh.

Nicky assures me that everything will be fine.

Nicky: That's not what I said.

But you are a visa expert.

I'm a travel agent.

Yeah, who does visas.

She sorted mine for Rarotonga.

You don't need a visa for Rarotonga.

Oh.

See?

Expert.

I just need someone to look over why my visa was rejected.

I'm pretty sure it was a typo.

And it says I can appeal, so... Well, I can have a look later.

Aw.

No.

No, I've got a flight to New York in two days.

You just had a visa rejected.

It's not gonna be sorted in five minutes, love.

[Stopwatch beeps] Ah.

Dance call!

Mum: Oh!

[Chuckles] I am so happy you're home.

[Piano music in ragtime style] Adrian: Kick.

Step.

Kick.

Behind, side, front, tap.

Behind, side, front, tap.

Gallop.

Ball change.

Gallop.

Ball change.

And present, down, up, down, up, down, up... [Whispers] Where is she?

Automated message: No service available.

[Muffled sound of cheering and applause] [Cheering and applause fades] [Woman sobbing] Aah.

Oh.

Sorry, um... Do you need the room?

'Cause I can find somewhere else to cry.

No, no.

No, you cry away.

I was just gonna get the Wi-Fi.

[Sobbing] I might just... Oh.

Huh.

Same folder from when... There's tissues in the second drawer.

It's my mum's desk, so... Thank you.

Are you all right?

I'm just... I'm just feeling a little [Sniffling] over...whelmed.

'cause I'm... I'm a music teacher.

I'm not a composer.

And... those people out there auditioning, I just-- I don't want them to feel bad.

Feeling bad is a fundamental part of our job.

Adrian: Gloria!

[Gloria gasps] Gloria!

[Sobs] I know who you are, by the way.

You've got great skin.

Sorry?

It's very fleshy.

I'm always attracted to gay men.

Shut up, Gloria.

[Clap clap] She's here!

Get on the piano, girl!

Oh, sorry I'm late.

Darling.

Open home.

Of course.

Mwah.

Mwah.

Over to you.

And you'll be auditioning for...?

[Chuckles] Helen... of Troy.

[Snaps fingers] [One bright piano chord plays] Paris, you little prince.

You look good enough to eat.

♪ My husband Menelaus ♪ ♪ Has run away to Crete ♪ ♪ I've been very lonely ♪ ♪ But suddenly I see ♪ ♪ A terrific little Trojan ♪ ♪ Standing right in front of me ♪ ♪ Won't you be my ♪ ♪ Troy boy?

♪ ♪ Not some typical ♪ ♪ Toy boy ♪ ♪ I don't have an aversion to a Greek guy or a Persian ♪ ♪ I just want someone to enjoy ♪ ♪ So, will you be ♪ ♪ My Troy boy?

♪ What could possibly go wrong?

♪ Oh, yeah ♪ [Piano flourishes] [Song ends] Fabulous.

[Chuckles] [Applause, man cheers] Jacqui James.

We need a drink.

Ohh!

Yes, please.

[Electronic tones play, bolt clicks as it retracts] You have a permanent dressing room?

Honestly, it's just easier.

[Chuckles] [Pop] Well, you still sound incredible.

Please!

You heard those scoops.

They were a character choice.

[Jacqui, in British accent] She still knows how to charm.

[Laughs] To my Peter Pan.

Mm.

To my Wendy.

Faith, trust... And pixie dust.

[Both laugh] I hope you told the producers you're allergic to cats.

Can we not?

Sorry.

I just... I don't wanna talk about work right now, OK?

Are you OK?

Can I tell you a secret?

Of course.

So, I'm not actually working on "Cats" anymore.

Why not?

What happened?

You know how Sally Field broke her wrist?

Yeah, she fell off one of the garbage cans during rehearsals.

Well, yes, that's the company line, but there's a little bit more to it than that.

Tell me everything.

[Ringtone] Oh, sorry.

Um... Diane.

Hi, hi.

Sorry.

It's my manager.

Can you just...?

No.

Yeah.

No, no, no, I'm listening.

I was-- [Diane speaking, indistinct] [Sound of rapid heartbeat] Well, c-- could you just, maybe... [Muffled sound of rapid tap-dancing] Um... I need to find Nicky, like, right now.

What--what about Mia?

She's got her great voice, and she's passionate.

Yes, Mia would be a perfect Helen.

But is she a goddess, Gloria?

Will thousands of men be prepared to die just to glimpse one look at her?

Yes, I agree.

She's not right.

She belted a D. Once-in-a-generation talent.

Adrian: This is a private convocation.

Nobody can see what we're doing.

Mum: What's going on, pork chop?

So sorry.

Um, I really need your help, Nicky.

Like, right now.

Get out!

What did you think of Mia?

Well, she belted a D, so... Adrian: What are you asking him for?

Get everyone, Gaye.

I've made my decisions!

OK.

Please?

Come with me.

[Military-style drumming on soundtrack] [Ruru hoots] Adrian: The role of Achilles, leader of the Greek army, goes to... Adam Whitford.

Performer: Hey!

Paris, Prince of Troy-- in his first role at Pizazz... Connor Onosa'i.

[Applause] Why doesn't it mention that you're directing "Cats" in the application?

Well, that would be because I'm not currently directing "Cats."

That could be why you lost your O-1 visa.

You still got a manager, though?

Diane something?

In a recent turn of events, I do not have a manager either.

I... I really need you to not tell Mum any of this.

[Applause] King Menelaus, King Priam, and Odysseus-- Mikaere Dean.

Performer: Hey!

Hecuba, Queen of Troy, and ensemble member four... President Gaye Summers!

[Whooping] [Cheering] What do I need to do to get back?

You're gonna need an immigration lawyer-- an expensive one.

In the role of Helen of Troy, goddess and daughter of Zeus... Jacqui James.

[Performer whoops, applause] Woman: Oh!

She's gonna give us a sneak peek!

Congratulations, darling.

[Chuckles] We end the musical on a city parapet.

Helen looks out across the ocean to her homeland.

You have to prove that you hold a critical role in an organisation that has a distinguished reputation in your field.

This is Tauranga.

How the hell am I meant to do that?

[Adrian speaking nearby, muffled] N-no.

No.

Your mum would appreciate it.

She's done a lot for you.

Charlie: OK, no disrespect, but this is an amateur company.

The visa people don't know that.

They probably don't even know where New Zealand is.

♪ When you set sail ♪ ♪ Across the sea ♪ ♪ You're heading home ♪ ♪ Where you're meant to be... ♪ I can't.

Well, then I suggest you unpack.

♪ Jacqui: ♪ But you can't control what danger awaits you ♪ ♪ You don't like the odds ♪ ♪ 'Cause the gods, well, they hate you ♪ ♪ So the weather turns ♪ ♪ All your hope is gone ♪ ♪ Do you turn back now ♪ ♪ Or journey on?

♪ ♪ I'll go the long way home ♪ ♪ The storm arrives, it's here to stay ♪ ♪ The long way home ♪ ♪ But at least I'm on my way ♪ ♪ My fortune is falling ♪ ♪ But home, it is calling ♪ ♪ I know ♪ ♪ I'll go the long way home ♪ ♪ I don't know how long it takes ♪ ♪ The long way home ♪ ♪ There's a chance the journey makes me ♪ ♪ Tired and weary ♪ ♪ Might be lonely and scary ♪ ♪ I know... ♪ Charlie's gonna help with the show!

[Cheering and applause] ♪ I'll go the long way home!

♪ ♪ This program is available with PBS Passport and on Amazon Prime Video ♪